


Crestfallen

by vanitasss



Series: Crestfallen [2]
Category: No straight Roads
Genre: M/M, Rivals to Lovers, all things considered i mean, if they even count as rivals, neon j is a literal disaster of a man and i wouldnt have it any other way
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:48:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26151412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanitasss/pseuds/vanitasss
Summary: Neon J hates the DJ. Obviously. The man had won Tatiana over and had absorbed all of the funds for electronic advancements! For space travel! So of course J had to hate him. It made sense, really.
Relationships: DJ Subatomic Supernova/Neon J, Neon J & 1010
Series: Crestfallen [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1924627
Comments: 104
Kudos: 705





	1. Chapter 1

J wasn't… entirely sure what to make of Tatiana's new artist. His music was fine, sure. But the man never knew how to shut up. He was always talking about himself, or the stars, or how he related to the stars. To top it off, Tatiana had overnight decided to let this new man, this DJ, have control of all the big time electronics. Something J had been in charge of for years.  
But Tatiana had made it clear. That the DJ was more well versed on space travel, and therefore needed the big equipment to do his research. All in the name of NSR, of course. J scowled internally as he worked on Blue's leg piece- he had tripped over a stagelight and bent the metal.  
"Neon J." Blue said suddenly, tilting his head, "You're thinking about something. Your work isn't as… efficient as it usually is. Which is Not Cool."  
J let out a non-commital noise, "Inefficient? That what she sees me as then?"  
Blue paused, before pouting. His features portrayed the expression perfectly, while still being handsome.  
"Is this about Boss Lady again?" He asked, "C'mon Neon J. You make a big deal about her choices once a month."  
"Choices that undermine my experience!!" J snapped, clutching his tools tightly, "You wouldn't get it! So hush!"  
Blue gave an eyeroll from behind his sunglasses, "You didn't program us to be able to read your mind. Jeez."  
J was quiet for a moment, thinking. Maybe he shouldn't have programmed sarcasm either now that he thought about it. He just sat and focused on his work for a few more minutes, all in awkward silence. And when he was done, he stood and patted Blue on his newly repaired leg.  
"There." A beat, "And watch your mouth, soldier. I might not be keen to keep repairing you boys if you keep talking back."  
Course, there was no weight to the threat. Both of them knew it, and Blue only laughed one short autotuned laugh in response. J crossed his arms.  
"Right. You keep on telling yourself that, Neon J." Blue said, with an eyebrow raised. He stood and stepped back out of the room, wandering out into the rest of the mansion.  
And so, J sat alone. Left to think about that stupid DJ once again. Not that it mattered, it would be over in a month. Like Blue said. And nothing would come out of any feelings of rivalry he harbored. At all.

* * *

  
It was Monday. Two days after 1010s Saturday party- held every Saturday, of course- and the cleaning bots were still working to make the mansion spick and span again. J looked at one as it passed him, furiously wiping the windows clean.  
It was then that Red walked in, shoulders squared like J had taught them to do, and head held high. He wanted something. The only time Red ever followed what J said was when he wanted something. Whatever he wanted, he wasn't getting it after last weekends party.The five of them were getting more and more out of hand with those parties, and J wasn't going to reward them for it.  
"Heya Neon J!" Red started, stopping just in front of him, "How's it hanging? Cuz I'm hanging good, in case you wanted to-"  
"What do you want." J interrupted, tucking his arms behind his back.  
Red blinked. He was taken aback, but he recovered quickly with a smile. "So I was thinking. It'd be really cool if you could give us rocket boots."  
That was something J didn't expect. Usually they only asked for a new Limousine, or an extra fountain in lobby number 4. Or a big fancy cake for celebrations over small things. Asking for a body modification was… new. J's monitor blipped once, and then twice as he processed the request.  
"You…" He started slowly, "You want rocket boots."  
"Yeah!!" Red instantly replied, bouncing on his heels to the beat of a song, "Yknow, really spice up our routine. The folks love it, air stunts."  
J uncrossed his arms from his back in favor of crossing them up front. It was a good idea, he'd give Red that much. But he still wasn't going to sway. Maybe later on when the boys had learned not to get rowdy to the point of broken windows, they'd get rocket boots.  
"No." J finally said, watching Red deflate, "I'm sorry but you're too immature to-"  
"DJ Subatomic Supernova gives his bots rocket boots."  
Silence.  
"He- he what?" J asked, leaning forward incredulously.  
"I said that DJ Subatomic Supernova gives his bots rocket boots!" Red replied, grinning now, "if you think you're better than him, then you should give us rocket boots too! Unless. You think you can't do it?"  
J's monitor glitched a couple times in frustration. He wanted to tell Red no, and that pushing the matter was annoying. But at the same time. He was right. Who was that DJ to think he could just put that sort of tech in simple minded bots?? Why not save it for the intelligent ones that could utilize it! J made a noise of frustration, before waving a hand.  
"Fine. You get what you want." J huffed, "Get the rest of the band and meet me at the workshop."  
Red make a happy, autotuned noise, smiling wide.  
"Remind me to get rid of manipulation from your programming."

* * *

They had invited him.  
1010 were like sons to Neon J, and for this week's party, they had invited him. They were horrible, horrible androids that enjoyed seeing their creator suffer!! Because they had invited DJ Subatomic Super-FundsStealer to their party!  
J was clutching his glass of fruit punch (that he couldn't even drink so he wasn't sure why he got it) so hard that the people around him were worried he might shatter it. He could see Grey approach out of the corner of his screen, and made a garbled noise of frustration at him.  
"Jeez Neon J." Grey started, leaning on his boss, "You're out here looking like someone twisted up your cape."  
"Don't play slick with me, Soldier!" J snapped, pointing at Grey angrily, "You invited-"  
"Yeah yeah, your biggest rival." Grey waved him off, "You say that you can't stand him but you've never even talked to the guy. C'mon Neon J, at least go say hi before declaring hatred."  
The sonar on his monitor spun a couple times as he frantically tried to come up with a reason not to do so. But before he even had the chance to think, Grey was shoving him across the floor towards the DJ. And though J dug his heels into the floor and made angry noises in protest, he still ended up next to Dj Subatomic Supernova. And then Grey left before J could do anything.  
There were a blissful few second before the DJ noticed him, long enough for J to contemplate just suplexing the guy and running away. His fingers twitched to do so and he- really wasn't sure why he was so nervous about just talking and-  
The DJ noticed him, and turned himself fully to face Neon J. He was. Very tall. And very wide.  
"Oh." He said, "Hello. I didn't notice you there."  
J stood still, frozen for a couple moments, before shaking his head furiously and pointing an accusatory finger at Supernova.  
"Do you know how many times you've shown me up?" J half-yelled, "With all you're documentaries and- and the boys thinking they can weasel their way out of punishments by-"  
He stopped suddenly, letting out a choked noise of surprise as DJ Subatomic Supernova ever so gently gripped the edge of his monitor. He tilted it from side to side, watching the radar pick up speed on the screen with a sort of wonder. A pause, and J knew that if Supernova had eyes, he'd be able to see them glance down at his turtleneck. J was silent.  
"Fascinating." The DJ hummed, letting go of J's screen to hold up a hand. A hand that was absolutely dwarfed in his. "I don't suppose you mind me saying so, but the robotic enhancements you've added to yourself are stunning. Quite a good bit of craftsmanship."  
J watched Supernova let go of his hand, which fell limply to his side.  
"Say, would you mind if you and I had a lunch together? I'm curious to hear about your work." A slight pause, "And, perhaps a chance to know you better. We are co-workers after all."  
J said absolutely nothing. He felt his internal cooling fans speed up to keep up with how fast his mind was racing.  
"... You. You are Neon J right." The DJ asked, "I mean. I should hope there's only one screen headed veteran in Vinyl City. With such wonderful work you are I'd be embarrassed if you-"  
Neon J toppled over, his screen a bright blue error message. And blacked out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Passing out at a party wasn't a big deal. Nor was it a big deal that he had done so as a direct result of interacting with a certain DJ. Why were 1010 making such a big deal out of it anyway?

J wasn’t going to talk about it. Not when he woke up the next day, laid on the couch with a blanket on his head and surrounded by empty plastic cups. He wasn’t going to talk about it when he got up for breakfast and sat at their dining table, feeding port plugged into his back. And he certainly wasn’t going to talk about it when Blue entered the room, eating a slice of leftover pizza from the night before. In fact, he was vehemently ignoring Blue. And minding his own business.  
“You fainted.” Blue says, standing next to J and chewing on his food, “It was funny.”  
Dammit. J let out an annoyed grumble, and rested the edge of his screen in his hands. “Temporary malfunction, soldier. Nothing more.”  
There was blissful silence for a few moments. And J just kept replaying the events over and over in his head. He fainted. His systems overheated to the point where the cooling couldn’t keep up. And he fainted.  
He runs a quick system diagnosis in the corner of his vision, internally frowning. Why? Why the hell did he faint? He had the state of the art cooling systems in all of his artificial limbs, there was no reason for them to have malfunctioned that badly. Unless it was an organic issue that overrode the programming? But what would cause that… Emotions? Probably. But what… what emotions? What emotions would do that.  
Another quick rundown of the previous nights events. That would help. Right.  
He had told 1010 to be on their best behaviors, since Tatiana could always choose to demote them based on public perception. The gates had opened. He had personally greeted the reporters- good etiquette- as he always did, and then retreated to handle the music sets for the night. He had done that, come back out from the music booth and seen that the boys had invited Dj Subatomic Supernova. Number one rival and-  
Neon J’s stomach twisted awkwardly, and he made a small noise of discomfort, starting to tap his pointer finger on the marble of the table to make the feeling go away. He knew that feeling. Where the hell did he know that feeling from.  
A pause. The. The war. Yeah that was it. He was just intimidated. Not a big deal. He knew how to deal with that.  
“Do you have a crush on the DJ or something?”  
Blue’s words completely yanked J out of his own thoughts, and he looked up to stare at the android.  
“What.”  
Blue blinked. “Do you have a crush on DJ Subatomic Supernova. Did you faint because you were too busy imagining long walks on the beach with him and-”  
J made a loud, bewildered noise that sounded like a giraffe being punched in the throat. And he shot upright, accidentally yanking the feeding cord out of his back port. Which hurt like hell, but he had more pressing matters on hand.  
“No???” He snapped, “Where in the world did you get that idea, soldier? Your mind in the gutters?? Huh???”  
Blue just shrugged. “You programmed us to be able to pick up on romantic stuff. You’re showing all the signs of having a-”  
“SHUT.” J shouted, pointing at Blue angrily, “Your mouth. I won’t have any talking back. Do you hear me?”  
Another shrug. “I’m just saying, Dad-J.”  
“You should not say!”  
A moment of silence, and then Blue let out a small laugh. He turned to walk away, and waved a hand at J over his back.  
“Alright. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

* * *

“Hey, J”  
Neon J looked up from where he was working, hands still on his soundboard and aux cord still plugged into the bottom of his head. It was Monday. Two whole days after the worst moment in his life as a celebrity. It wasn’t great to find out that the reporters at the party had just taken a bunch of pictures of his unconscious body and posted them everywhere the morning after it had happened. And it equally wasn’t great that everyone assumed his “age” was “getting to him”. Whatever that was supposed to mean. He hoped that releasing a new 1010 single would help get rid of all that nonsense. Show the media he was still as good as ever.  
He paused the track, and turned to face Grey fully. “What do you need, soldier. I’m working.”  
“You’re always working, to be fair.” Grey comments, leaning against the wall, “Yellow is out and got cornered by the fanclub. Can you go over and free him?”  
J unplugged the AUX from his head, quickly checking Yellow’s coordinates. In one of the parks in the Natura District. It was… odd that his the fanclub had followed him that far when they tended to stay in the Metro Division. But not unlikely. Yellow liked flowers and all that, the fans knew. J let out a huff.  
“Is there a reason I’m going and not you?”  
“The idea is to disperse the fans. Not call in more of them, J.” Grey said back, checking the joints on his fingers in a bored fashion, “Last they heard of you, you were an old man falling asleep at parties. They’ll scatter if you show up.”  
“...old???”  
“Yes J. You’re old. Now can you please go get Yellow? You scheduled practice for later today. We kind of need him for that.”  
Neon J internally scowled at being called old, but pulled his coat tighter around himself and didn’t argue any further, instead walking past Grey to leave the mansion. He was so busy thinking about being called old, that he missed the sly, smug catlike smirk that Grey had on his face.

* * *

It wasn’t exactly nightime in the Natura District, but with all the overhangings and archways that the district had that covered up the sun, it might as well have been. J had managed to avoid the paparazzi for the entire trip, sticking to the back paths that connected Yinu’s district to his. They were worn paths, weeds threatening to grow through the cracks in the Metro Division’s pristine white walkways, and succeeding as he got closer and closer to where Yellow was marked on his radar. The few places where sunlight managed to pierce through the overhang of buildings, plants crowded into and around its rays. But other than that, the paths were lit by warm, yellow lanterns and street lights.  
J could remember when this district had been largely made up of mangroves and roses. Plants on every square inch of land. And he could remember the slow overtake of sleek modernity. The increasing rarity of the plants, and the rise of music shops selling novelty plant themed items. Not to say that he disliked modernity. Considering the sleek white and greys he had chosen to make his prosthetics out of, and the bright neon lights in his own district. But it was sort of… sad. To walk through the Natura District nowadays. His mind briefly wandered to Grey calling him old.  
Eventually he walked out into the park that he had been called to. A relatively small one, with a fountain in the middle, lilies floating on the water. There was really only enough space for a few people to sit and enjoy the hidden away area. And J was… surprised. To find it empty. He checked his radar again. Yellow was just up ahead, in some bushes likely. He probably just barely managed to escaped whatever fanclub had trapped him this time. Whatever the issue was, J was there now, so he might as well go get-  
DJ Subatomic Supernova entered the park, and immediately noticed J. And before J even had a chance to react to the Dj’s sudden arrival in a district two away from his own, he was walking over. And he was big, but in a comforting way that made J want to turn around and run away and never ever return to this stupid little fucking park ever again. But J stood, frozen, as Supernova approached.  
“Apologies for being late,” the DJ said, stopping in front of Neon J with his hands clasped in front of him, “I’m not too terribly familiar with Natura. So I lost my way a little on the way.”  
J’s entire body, prosthetics and all, felt like Jello as he looked up to face his coworker, “You- Late?”  
“I hope you’ll forgive me for not having a full apology written up.” Supernova continued as if J hadn’t even said anything, “I was going to, really. But ah, complications.”  
“Complications??”  
“Yes, you understand. The paparazzi, scientific work, philosophy. You know it all, I’m assuming?”  
“I...” J wasn’t sure what the hell he was supposed to be saying. Had he agreed to something before blacking out?? What in the name of the Grand Fucking Qwasa was even happening. Really. He would really like to know.  
DJ Subatomic Supernova was completely unphased by the obvious lack of understanding between them, and barreled on. “That aside, since I wasn’t able to apologize in a proper worded format, I was hoping you’d accept my help with your internal systems, since I caused an error. It would be a shame if I had accidentally caused any lasting damage.”  
Ah. So that’s what this was about. J’s internal temperature instantly skyrocketed, and his systems made an audible wheeze in an attempt to catch up. Who the hell had even- There was a flash of yellow in the bushes. J instantly zeroed in on it and- fucking hell- there was yellow! Giving a thumbs up, a smile, and holding a fucking camera. The wheezing picked up, but J forced his systems to work on overdrive, shutting down certain functions to keep from overheating. He didn’t need to be walking right now. He was just standing. So his leg joints could be turned off. That was fine.  
With a slightly clearer head, he glanced back at the DJ, “No need to worry, soldier. Minor systematic malfunction that I already have fixed. Nothing to be worried over.”  
There was a moment of silence where the both of them said nothing, before Supernova gave a soft, stupidly sweet laugh. He adjusted his headphones before responding with, “Well now, that’s good. I don’t think Tatiana would have been very happy had I accidentally killed the charter for the Metro Divison.”  
“Course not.” J responded instantly with a too-loud laugh, “I’d like to think a half crazed war veteran still holds some value these days!”  
“Right, of course.”  
The silence that followed lasted for half a minute- J counted- and was the most terrible thing he had to live through. His own decapitation held nothing on this specific moment. And to top it all off, Yellow was laughing at him in the bushes. His own son!!! His own android! Laughing at him!! The DJ coughed once, and J looked up at him, grateful that the silence was over.  
“So…” He said slowly, “If that’s all, then I’d like to invite you over to the Planetarium. For dinner. I mentioned it before, but I would like to know you better. Coworkers should get along.”  
He hummed, then offered J a small card with a time and location on it, “Dinner? On Wednesday? How does that sound.”  
J holds the card in his hands, and turns it over once. It was printed on a nice, glossy paper, complete with glitter decals in the shapes of stars. It was strangely endearing in a way that made J want to throw up. He looked up at Supernova after a moment, giving a thumbs-up.  
“Sure. I’ll see you there.” He said, not picking up on the release of tension from the DJ’s shoulders, “But be ready. I’m never late.”  
“Right, of course.” There was a smile in his voice, “See you then.”  
And with a wave, and a twinkle that might’ve been a smile, DJ Subatomic Supernova was gone. J let out a small huff of relief, returning motor controls to his legs and untensing his shoulders. But he wasn’t done yet. One last thing to do.  
He knelt down, gently detached a foot, and launched it at Yellow as hard as possible. The resounding yelp from the bushes was all too satisfactory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hihi! Van here. As you can tell I've decided to continue this hot mess. I'm in the process of drafting the rest of the fic, but as of right now heres the plan:  
> 1, I changed the name of the fic. If it's going to be long lasting I figured it'd need something more serious  
> 2, I'm not sure how many chapters this will be, but right now it's looking to be around 15-20  
> 3, I plan to do related ficlets surrounding Neon J and the specific headcanons I have about his past. For his body headcanon, check my tumblr A lesbian-wooloo  
> 4, The fic is not going to be nsfw. There will be nsfw jokes- as a result of 1010 being dorks. But I have plans to do 4 nsfw chapters uploaded separately. They will be released at the same time as their correlating normal chapter (when they'd take place)  
> 5, Last of all! Please be patient with me is all I ask, lol. I'm in my first semester of college, and I want to balance this with that. Again, I can be found at Lesbian-wooloo on tumblr. And I hope yall enjoy!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Absolutely nothing about their meeting was romantic. Certainly not the candles and absolutely not the well done steak that J couldn't eat.

J was pacing like a tiger that hadn’t had enrichment in a month. Coattails making sharp snaps whenever he turned on his heel.

He was, all things considered, a pretty smart person. He liked to think that his military knowledge and passion for music kept him sharp on his toes. Hell, he’d even go out of his way and say that he thought he was one of the smartest people in Vinyl City. Being able to mix everything he knows into a boy band he quite literally built from the ground up.

But good fucking god was he an idiot sometimes.

Dinner. He had accepted to go to dinner with the DJ. Sounded great, sure. Get to know a colleague- RIVAL- of his and work on better NSR’s power output. Only one problem! Neon J did not have a mouth. Or any way to consume solid foods. At least not traditionally. But like hell was he going to actively ask DJ Subatomic Supernova to go out of his way to get a feeding simulation station. And honestly J would rather go back into war than have to sit through that awkward as hell conversation. Really now. What did he look like? Someone who admitted he needed help communicating? Absolutely not.

And on top of making a fool out of himself, 1010 had been nonstop calling the meeting a date. Specifically the romantic kind. Which was ridiculous. It was! The meeting was one that related to work. Getting to know a colleague. J wouldn’t at all be surprised if he found out that the DJ had had similar dinners with the other NSR artists. Even if the thought of it made his stomach twist in an unfamiliar way.

But that was beside the point. The date- meeting- wasn’t romantic. And 1010 had to get their heads out of the gutters. J paused his pacing to check his internal clock. Only an hour until he was supposed to be at the Planetarium in the Cast Tech District. Two whole districts away from his own. If he wanted to arrive unfollowed by the media, he’d have to leave now, and stick to Vinyl City’s backroads. He wasn’t… entirely sure if he even wanted to go in the first place. Considering how painful it would be to sit through. But he wasn’t one to turn down an offer. He’d go.

With one last turn on his heel, J left his room and headed towards the mansion’s garage.

* * *

The planetarium had been a staple of the Cast Tech District for a good number of years, standing tall and overlooking the smaller shops and tunnels that wove the area together. J could remember when it was first built, and how people had crowded into it to watch the stars each night. He could also clearly remember the decline in usage as the city became more “modern”. Until people had stopped using it altogether, and it had been left to rot and the paint had been left to peel. That is, until the DJ became the charter of the district. In the short few months that Supernova had been the charter, the planetarium had been fully restored, and the district’s love of the stars reignited.

And although J’s feelings on the man were conflicting, he had to admit that Supernova had done a good thing in reviving the district back to its full glory.

He stood outside the back door of the planetarium, approximately 15 minutes early, and rocking from foot to foot in place. He tapped a finger on his upper leg too, the metal of his hands rooting him in place. Despite how much of him had been replaced in the war, he supposed he could never really get rid of his nervous habits. The tapping and rocking only stopped when DJ Subatomic Supernova opened the door, and let out a yelp of surprise.

“Goodness!” The DJ half laughed, putting a hand on his chest, “You’re early. Scared me half out of my skin there.”

“I said I’m never late.” J felt his chest tighten again as he looked up to face Supernova, “I’m surprised you forgot, s- DJ Subatomic Supernova.”

“Right. Apologies.” He fixed his tie briefly, then coughed and stepped aside to hold the door open for J, “Well, don’t let me keep you out here any longer. Come on in.”

And J did. He stepped past Nova- the feeling in his chest worsening- and looked at him in order to coax him into leading the way. As much as J visited the planetarium back in it’s peak, he wasn’t sure where he was supposed to be going. Supernova gave him a short nod in understanding, and took the lead.

The inside of the planetarium wasn’t nearly as polished as the outside. There were still bits of exposed internal wiring sticking out here and there, and unpainted walls. Boxes were piled up against unfinished structures too. A safety hazard. But whatever feeling was going on in J’s chest made him… not really care. It was that realization that made him notice that DJ Subatomic Supernova had been talking the entire time they’d been walking. About… About the size of their galaxy, J picked up.

And no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t force himself to focus on the DJ’s words. He could only repeat the thought that he had agreed to dinner when he had no mouth. And every time he looked up to watch Supernova walk ahead of him, his chest would get tight again. So he kept his senses on the scenery, and stopped trying to pay attention to the words coming out of Supernova’s mouth. Or, lack thereof.

Eventually, the two came upon the uppermost room of the planetarium. A personal suite of sorts. And in the center, overlooking the city, was a table lit with candles. Candles, of all things. J’s internal processors kicked into overdrive as he started to heat up again. The pain in his chest twisting into a half sort of dread. Nice ass steak, still steaming, sat in front of either seat. And J didn’t have a mouth.

But really he dug his own grave as he walked over, and took the seat opposite to the one that DJ Subatomic Supernova had chosen. He fumbled with his hands for a moment, before just resting them on the table in front of him. This was. All things considered. A complete fucking mess. Supernova launched into a discussion as they both sat down, and he started eating.

“You know.” He said, cutting into his food, “Tatiana has some big plans coming up soon. I don’t know how much she’s told you, but she wants to lead an NSR satellite launch.”

It took J a few moments to process the DJ’s words, and he tightened his clasped hands at the remark. A flare of jealousy sparked alongside the chest feeling he was getting. “I… haven’t been told, no. Is it to stream NSR’s music to other countries?”  
Supernova laughed, and J watched, somewhat bewildered, as he put his food into the spacial orb that is his head. And watched as the food just… disappeared. With a slight warping sound. Huh. So that was one mystery solved.

“You could’ve fooled me then.” Supernova said, “Because that would be the exact reason that she’s launching- hah- the project. Something about wanting to spread the message of how NSR gets its energy to other countries. Spread the music. You name it. For a woman made of stone, she does go out of her way to help others.”  
“Mm.” J hummed his agreement. He found it… hard. To try to think about their shared boss in the current situation. The crushing knowledge that Supernova was going to notice at some point, and the weird way his stomach was doing flips made it difficult to think of anything really.

“It’ll take a little while to get everything sorted out before starting to build the thing.” DJ continued, “But a lot of it is going to be fun! I hope you don’t mind me requesting your help on a few things, Tatiana believes that we’ll be using military grade electronics. Your expertise, I’ve heard.”

“It is. I used military grade electronics to build 1010.”

“And yourself, I assume? If that’s not too rude of me to ask.” He made a thoughtful noise around another bite of steak, “Speaking of, why aren’t you eating? Do you prefer your steak pinker?”

And there it was. J said nothing, his leg started to bounce out of anxiety. And DJ Subatomic Supernova also said nothing. It was nearly a whole minute of pure silence. And it was possibly the worst thing that J had ever had to live through.

DJ Subatomic Supernova broke the silence with a quiet, “Oh my god I’m an idiot.”

He shot up out of his seat, causing J to jolt in his seat, and facepalmed. “I am SO sorry- I really- I can’t believe I invited you to dinner of all-”

“Nono its! Fine it’s fine.” J waved his hands frantically, “I’m the one who didn’t say anything until-”  
“Yes but I’m the host and- Ah I’m. Really such a fool when it comes to this sort of stuff.” He shook his head, “I… Is there any other way you eat? I really do want to make up for this. One bumble after another doesn’t exactly paint me in a good light.”

J made a small, indecisive noise. He could be honest and hopefully relieve some of the awkwardness. Or he could lie and probably make things ten times worse in terms of awkwardness for the both of them. And honestly he’d been trying to avoid falling even further into that particular pit.

“I… Uh. Port feeding is something I…” He vaguely gestured, “The simulated feeding I mean.”

Supernova waved a hand and held a finger up, “Right. Lucky I’ve got one of those stupid multipurpose stations laying around. I’ll be just a second.”  
He left through a small side door, full of electronics. And J sat, hands clenched together, and considered his situation. The date hadn’t been explicitly stated as romantic. So far they had only talked about work related subjects. It was likely that J was right, and that the meeting had been exclusively that to arrange a better working environment for them both. But… but the candles. Really. Who has a candlelit dinner overlooking the city for a business endeavor?? J began tapping a finger against his clasped hand. Once again, nervous habits never died.

Supernova reentered the room a couple moments later, rolling in a relatively large machine with wires hanging off of it in long groups. He slid it up next to J, and J mumbled a thanks, making quick work to find one that would fit into his back. It wasn’t hard. He used a common port size that most every jack could fit into comfortably. It was getting the damn thing into the port along his spine that was a pain in the ass. And it didn’t help that he was trying to do so under his jacket and sweater.

He fumbled with it for a solid 30 seconds. Missing the port along his spin and just stabbing himself with the stupid jack too many times to count. But it was only when J let out a grumble of annoyance that Supernova took notice of his struggle. And in a heartbeat he was standing next to J.

“Here,” He said, taking the wire from J’s hands, “Let me help out a little.”

In one swift movement he grasped J’s entire torso in one hand to steady him in place, and plugged the jack into his port. It was. Surprising to say the least that his entire form could fit into a single hand. He shouldn’t have been surprised though, all things considered. He was already dwarfed in comparison to DJ Subatomic Supernova. It only made sense. So there was no reason for J’s internal workings to just stop when he was gripped. Really. But they did stop, if only to start back up again a second later. The simulation began playing in the back of his mind.

“Thhaanks.” J managed to wheeze out when Supernova finally pulled away.

“Of course.” Was the response he got from a DJ that was blissfully unaware that he had caused J a brief shutdown, “No problem.”

They sat in silence for a little while. And J let his focus wander back and forth from the city below to the DJ eating. It was a… pleasant sort of silence. J couldn’t find it in himself to try and make a conversation. Like the only noise they needed to fill the space were the sounds of cars rushing past in the streets below.

“So.” DJ Subatomic Supernova said, finished with his meal, “Is there a reason you use ports? I’ve been curious to know if it’s a military standard or a you type of modification.”  
Oh. A story. The DJ wanted a story. J adjusted himself in his seat, and smiled internally. Those he could do. All past awkwardness was forgotten in the light of having a chance to talk about his past for a while.

“Typically it’s a military standard. Nowadays at least. Back when I was in it though, it was only a requirement to the officers that had a high enough ranking. So that they could be able to speed up their healing process and get more energy in a smaller amount of time.” J gestured wildly as he spoke, “I was one of the few at the time that had to have my memory backed up completely through the things though. I wasn’t told at the time but a lot of it was largely experimental. The feeding and drinking simulations. They wanted to see if just simulating it in the mind actually tricked your body into thinking it was happening.”

The DJ hummed with interest, leaning forward on the table. “And you mention it was experimental? How did they get away with that back then?”

Another story. And J told it, and told another, until the evening was bleeding on into night and the room was filled with excited retellings of the things he had lived through. All throughout it the DJ listened, metaphorical eyes wide and full of interest. And when they finally parted for the night, both of them agreed to meet again. To sit and talk like they had that night, and would do again.

All while J forgot about the romantic implications and the feelings he had had. Though of course. It wasn’t like they’d matter in the long run. Clearly.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What did it matter that they had been meeting in relative secrecy for a while now? What did it matter? J could handle it. He handled everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hihi! Sorry for posting this in the middle of the night. I've just got a couple warnings before reading!  
> \- Mentions of PTSD  
> \- Mentions of Unreality/Delusions

The two had met four times after that initial visit, and they had both loosened up as they learned more about each other. Like, for example, J hadn’t known that Supernova used to be a teacher. Much less that he used to wear glasses. A revelation that had J genuinely confused. Both as to how they would’ve stayed on his orb head, and why he would need them in the first place. It wasn’t like he had eyes in the first place. Turns out Supernova had just thought that they made him look smarter, and that he had meticulously stuck a magnet on the inside of his helmet in order to hold them in place. A process that after hearing about it, had both of them laughing.

It was almost like there was no romantic tension between them. And like the moments where J found himself unable to breathe in the DJ’s presence didn’t exist. And like the seconds that DJ Subatomic Supernova would spend staring, starstruck at J were just a figment of both of their imaginations. Had things been under slightly different circumstances, J was sure that he’d consider himself too close to his coworker for comfort. But it didn’t matter. Not now, at the very least.

J took his coat off of his shoulders and hung it in his- relatively small- closet. He had just spent another lovely evening with his newfound friend. They had spent the night wandering the backstreets of Akusuka, avoiding the paparazzi and just enjoying each other’s company. J had told a story, like he often did, about a struggle and a triumph he had lived through in the Border Wars. And Subatomic Supernova had rambled on about how he was endlessly bullied as a teacher. J had joked that it was because of the process he went through to put glasses on, and Supernova had laughed a loud, booming laugh that echoed through the pink and blue lit alleys of Sayu’s district.

He turned to his bed, internally smiling as he made his way over to it. It was a big bed, piled high with blankets and heating pads for when he decided that it had got too cold in the spacey room, as it often did. He clambered under the covers, stacked two more blankets on top of himself and prepared to shut down.

It was a process that went more smoothly than sleeping, but held the same purpose. He’d be shut down for a few hours, dream if he was lucky, and wake up at exactly 6 am the next morning. He watched the sleep timer start counting down from 10 in the corner of his vision, and focused more on the weight of the blankets on top of him. And when the timer hit 0, he drifted off into sleep.

* * *

J was dreaming. Walking down a path that seemed familiar, but in a way that he couldn’t place. There was something red running along the path. He stared at it for a good long moment, trying to figure out what it was, only for it to fade away into a vague brown smear on the pavement. It didn’t matter. He was dreaming.

As he walked, he kept passing people he knew. People he cared about, he knew them. But their names were irrelevant. The spot on their head where a face would be was just a blurred out, dripping mass. He wasn’t entirely sure why, but the sight unsettled him. He was briefly reminded of a moment in his life where he had been in two, awful places at one. Watching his own body undergo a surgery that would save his life. The reminder faded quickly though, only leaving J with a feeling of unease in his chest.

Something was… wrong about this dream. He stopped walking, and only started again when the feeling of eyes on his back became too much to handle. There were people behind him. People that wanted him to keep going. He was faintly aware that he was getting shorter, but couldn’t muster up an emotion past mild disinterest for the situation.

It was only when he found that he couldn’t move anymore did terror finally overtake him. The deep rooted fear of large objects passing his right side. Loud, mocking laughter. A passing word about not making it- but making it where? J began to panic.

He wasn’t dreaming. It was a nightmare. He clawed frantically at the ground, trying to drag himself further along the path. But the noises, and the overwhelming, confusing emotions that came with them threatened to drown him. He found he couldn’t pull himself any further. And he laid there and waited for the sounds, the emotions to finally catch up. And then he would-

* * *

Neon J awoke with a jolt.

0600 hours. Thursday morning. He became acutely aware of the fact that his bedsheets were soaked in sweat, and slowly had feeling return to his prosthetic limbs. But he didn’t bother to move. He laid there in bed, too shaken to do anything. His internal clock ticked by, and soon it was 8 am. Two hours, unmoving.

1010 had an interview today. It was early, and had started at 7:30. J was 30 minutes late. He was never supposed to be late, his drill sergeant had told him that over and over again. Slowly, ever so slowly, J sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

Everything felt off. Like it was all tilted at a 40 degree angle and looked at through the wrong end of a telescope. He staggered over to his closet, a hand on the wall the entire time. He just needed to get dressed. That would help.

He pulled out his typical furry collared jacket. The one with the coattails and tags describing his importance. He looped the tassels over a shoulder almost mindlessly, and tucked the cuffs inward. There. That was good. He turned to his mirror to see what needed to be adjusted and…

Everything from his dream came toppling down on him as he stared at himself in the mirror. The path of old blood, passing his old friends and barely being able to remember them, his surgeries. His breath hitched, and his joints started to give out. He had to- had to get to safety. He had to be safe.

He barely managed to scramble under his bedframe before his joints gave out completely, and became unable to move. He lay there, head cycling the dream over and over again. Alone.

He knew he was alone. He knew. So why, why did it feel like he was still in danger? Like at any moment his situation would be compromised and he’d be put on the field again? He didn’t know. And so he sat in silence, and clung to what little bits of the present he had.

* * *

Green kept glancing back at the mansion as 1010 walked. They had an interview today, one of the early ones that all of them liked to complain to J about him scheduling. Only one problem. J wasn’t there. Green messed with the edges of his sailor tie, and glanced at Grey with a slight crinkle in his expression.

“Don’t you guys think that we should have at least checked on him before leaving?”

Yellow nodded his agreement, but Grey only made a small noise of indecisiveness. Like he knew that going on ahead without their father was wrong, but he wasn’t sure what to do to fix the issue. He turned to face Green, frowning.

“He’s in his room. And he’s not here. My bet is that he’s having another… y’know.” Grey crossed his arms, his frown turning into one of concern, “And when he has them there’s always a 50/50 chance he’ll freak out real bad.”  
“But the other half of the time he-”

“He needs talking down I know.” he looked up at the mansion, “But he hasn’t sent us a message. Which he does if he needs us. Or, you. You’re the best at helping him out.”

Green lifted his arms to protest, but Grey continued on, “I’d prefer leaving and coming back if he needs us to us staying and just making the situation worse for him, y’know?”

There was a moment of silence as the rest of the band quietly nodded. All of them knew how to handle the situation if J did need help. But it was true that Green was the best at it. He was softspoken, and non-intrusive on J’s space. That, and he was just generally better at reading the room in terms of emotions.

Yellow was better at cracking jokes and poking fun at awkward situations, Blue was better at keeping himself professional while also maintaining the band’s general playful trope, Red was loud and knew his way around people so that he could get what he wanted, White was the frontman and knew how to talk up a crowd and get peopled excited. And Green was the people guy. Even if not a lot of people seemed to be a fan of it.

Green crossed his arms and messed with his sailor tie again, but didn’t press the matter. Grey knew what he was talking about, especially when it came to their father. And if J needed help he’d-

1010’s eyes flashed a bright yellow triangle, and a message flashed against their internal systems.

  * **\- DANGER; Position compromised. Enemy units moving in**



There was a beat of silence as they all processed what the message read. And then Grey let out a sigh of worry and distress. He looked at Green, defeated.

“You know what to do.” Grey said, “Go help Dad-J out, K?”

Green nodded frantically, gave a thumbs up, and turned to sprint back into the mansion. Blue leaned over to Grey, muttered something, and Grey’s eyes lit up. He cupped his hands around his mouth to call out to Green as he left.

“We’re gonna call in some backup too! Be on the lookout!”  
Green turned only enough to give a thumbs up, and returned to sprinting.

* * *

The door to J’s room made a slight squeak as Green slowly opened it, peeking his head in at first before slowly sliding all the way into the room. It was seemingly empty, but Green knew his dad was in there. He knelt down to check under the bed, and stared at J’s curled up form for a minute. Ah. There he was.

“Hey dad.” He said, watching for a reaction, “I’m gonna sit on the bed ok?”

There was nothing for a good few seconds, but eventually J’s head jerked once in acknowledgment. Green sighed in relief, and gently sat himself down on the edge of the bed.

“Uhm, me and the rest of the band were wondering where you had gone earlier, y’know.” He said, “Even Red was worried about ya. I know you and him sometimes get into disagreements, but he cares.”  
Silence. Green continued talking to fill the space.

“I don’t think the interviewers are gonna miss me much, what do you think?” More silence. “I don’t mind. I think it gives me more time to work on the songs and dances themselves. That way I can be the best at the parts I do!”

More silence. Green felt hopeless. Usually he gets at least one response by now. He let out a worried noise, and shifted his weight on the bed as he thought. Maybe he could talk about practice? That was always something J enjoyed…

  * **\- DANGER; Enemy units overhead**



Green jolted at the message, then leaned over the edge of the bed, waving his hands.

“No! No it’s just me dad, I was just moving a little. I’m sorry if I-”  
There was a gentle knock at the door. One that caused J to jolt slightly in place and Green to whip his head up so suddenly that it almost flew straight off. Green turned on his heat vision to see through the door and- why the fuck was the person behind it colder than their surrounding?? He got up cautiously from the bed, and opened the door a crack to peek outside.

DJ Subatomic Supernova stood in the doorway, tapping his fingers together with an anxious air about him. Green just stared.

“Ah- sorry if I startled you.” He said, “One of the other members of 1010 called me. They said it was urgent? Something to do about Neon J?”

Green relaxed. Grey had said that they were going to call backup. But whether or not the DJ would help… He glanced back at the bed. His brothers wouldn’t invite someone they were unsure about. He could trust their decision. He let the door swing open all the way and gestured DJ Subatomic into the room.

“Dad-J has these real bad PTSD episodes,” Green explained, shutting the door behind the DJ, “He doesn’t have em often, but when he does, they’re not… not good for anyone. Especially him.”

Supernova hummed, and glanced around the room. “Right… I suppose I understand. He’s talked to me about some of the things he’s experienced. But ah.. where is he?”

Green glanced at the bed, eyes traveling to the bottom of it. He assumed that Supernova followed his gaze, because he let out a small, sympathetic noise. The DJ leaned down until he was looking under the bed, staring at J with a softness about him. He turned to glance at Green, still knelt down.

“Am I allowed to… get him out from under there?”

“I. Guess?” Green blinked. He genuinely wasn’t expecting that question, “He can talk to me through system messages. He’ll let me know if it’s too much so… I don’t see why not?”

Supernova nodded, then ever so carefully reached a large hand under the bed. J flinched away at first, but didn’t move when the hand gripped him by the faux fur on the collar of his jacket. And he didn’t flinch or move when DJ Subatomic slowly dragged him out from under the bed. He just sat there limply, even as he was lifted up like a cat grabbed by the scruff.

“There you are.” DJ Subatomic Supernova said, his voice so soft and deep that it jolted J out of whatever thoughts he was lost in. He slowly looked up at the two other people in the room.

“Hey dad.” Green waved, “You doin ok?”

J didn’t say anything, but his fingers twitched once in response. Green relaxed.

Meanwhile the DJ shifted J in his grasp so that he was holding him bridal style. And J only lifted his head to look up at the man holding him. He felt… safe.

“Are you alright to move to the bed? I don’t imagine that sitting under there is very warm.”

There was a beat of silence, but J eventually gripped the front of Supernova’s shirt in confirmation. He didn’t want to be put down though. Just to be held, and feel safe. Chase off whatever bits of the dream there were left clinging to the edges of his mind. And Supernova obliged. He sat himself on the bed first, then slowly swung his legs over the edge and scooted himself up against the back of the wall. Holding J the entire time.

Green smiled from where he was watching the exchange. “Are you good now? Am I good to head on out and-”  
He was cut off by all of J’s speakers bursting into static, which caused both him and Supernova to jolt where they were standing/sitting. Supernova’s hands shot up and hovered above J as he gave Green a startled look. But Green only sighed with relief, and rubbed the back of his neck.

“He’s crying.” Green explained, “He tries to suppress it in his programming and as a result, when he needs to...”

“It glitches the audio output.” The DJ nodded in understanding, and put his hands back on J, gently patting him and listening to the static go down in volume.

Green smiled again, and nodded once at Supernova. “Give us a call if he needs us.” And like that, he was out of the room, leaving the two alone.

They sat like that for a while. Supernova gently patting J’s back as his cries died down into nothing but faint crackling.

And J felt safe. And it was in those last moment of consciousness before falling asleep in the DJ’s arms that he realized he was in love.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So he had romantic feelings. There was still no way they were leading anywhere. J was 100%, absolutely, totally certain of this. ... well. He was mostly sure.

When J finally woke up, his internal clock read 0600 hours. As it usually did in the morning. The same time every morning. His head was full of slight static, and most of the previous day was fuzzy at best and nonexistent at worst. He’d also had the weirdest dream. Something about being held by the DJ. J didn’t linger on the thought. At least one thing was for certain, he was very warm, and very comfortable. He leaned back into the warmth behind him, gently wiggling further into the blankets.

One of the tassels on his coat got caught on something. Hm… Why had he worn his coat to bed in the first place again… He moved to gently unpry the tassel from what it was stuck on, and stared. A finger. It was stuck on a finger. Ah. That would mean…

J looked up at what he was being held by, and turned his radar on. And that certainly was DJ Subatomic Supernova! J’s face blipped two loud pings as he processed Supernova’s presence. Which woke him up.

DJ Subatomic Supernova blinked(?) awake with a small yawn that J could feel from where he was pressed against his back. And one arm tugged J closer as he stretched. It took them both to register that they were awake at the same time, and when they did, it was Supernova who said something first.

“Ah, you’re finally awake.” He had a small hint of concern in his voice, “Are you feeling alright this morning?”

J stared blankly, before shifting and trying to move out of Supernova’s grasp, “Fine. I’m- yeah. Fine. Pardon me soldier-”

“Ah, sorry.” He lifted his arm, and J wiggled up and out of the bed.

Free at last, J shuffled awkwardly over to his charging station and stuck a bright green colored wire into a port on his wrist, pausing and checking up on his own vitals. His mind was racing, and the task at least gave him something else to do than constantly stare at the other man in the room. The bed creaked as DJ Subatomic Supernova moved to sit up.

“Apologies for holding onto you like that.” The DJ said, stretching his arms up until they nearly touched the ceiling, and then dropping them back to their normal size, “I would’ve given you your space… If there had been space. I’m afraid I took up a lot of the bed. And I couldn’t leave, you were clinging to me like a little koala. Aha- if you don’t mind the comparison that is!”

J wasn’t sure why DJ Subatomic Supernova was so calm about the whole thing. Much less comparing him to a- a marsupial! J’s monitor pinged twice at the phrase, trying to pick it apart.

“It’s no problem s- eurgh- Subatomic.” Stupid verbal ticks ruining the moment, “Nothing to worry about. I’m fine. Just… surprised you stayed the night is all.”

He unplugged the cord from his wrist and made his way to his closet, radar pinging softly at Supernova’s mere presence in the room. But the noise did nothing to ease the feeling of the DJ watching him as he walked, almost fondly.

“Of course I stayed, Neon.” A soft chuckle, “I do care about you.”

As friends. As… J waited for Supernova to finish the statement. And the finishing ‘as a friend’ or ‘as friends’ never came. He couldn’t really make sense of it all. Especially considering the whole ordeal was… horribly domestic. He got changed from inside his closet. Something more casual. Casual as in a sweater-vest and the worst feeling corduroy pants. Well. Not like he could feel them, that is.

J wasn’t… sure. What he was going to do. He knew he was in love now, or at the very least had romantic feelings towards DJ Subatomic Supernova. Which shouldn’t be a problem, all things considered. They knew each other well by this point, had spent plenty of time together, and shared interests! But… But J’s mind wandered to the last time he felt that way about. About anyone. His hands twitch. He doesn’t want to think about that any longer. This… This would be different. This would be better. Love or romance or friendship or- or whatever the fuck. J stepped out of the closet.

And was immediately greeted by a snort from the man he just admitted he had feelings for.

“You dress like my father does.”

J’s radar blipped. “Pardon?”

“Sorry it’s just that-” Another snort, “I don’t think I expected you to wear a sweater-vest. Of all things.”

Oh. He glanced down at his outfit, and huffed in annoyance. Always about his clothes. He let out a huff and waved the DJ off, turning to leave the room.

“Well. Whatever feelings you have on how I dress, soldier.” J opened the door and gestured for Supernova to follow him, “There’s still a matter of food. You need to eat, last I checked.”

And with that, he turned on his heel and started walking out of the room. Supernova made a small noise of confirmation before hopping off the bed and following him.

The halls were largely empty, only plaques of past accomplishments for the band and posters of past concerts decorating the walls. The floor was black, lit with a vibrant purple from between the tiles, and contrasted sharply with the stark white of the walls. J took pride in the internal and external build of Barraca Mansion. It was all very aesthetically pleasing. Bright and dark at the same time, always with some music playing nearby. Even just walking through the halls he could hear the upbeat carnival music coming from the streets outside. It was nice.

Of course, it was nice. Until he entered the kitchen and saw all of 1010 lounging about. Yellow was eating a waffle while Red stared, face down, into the toaster waiting for his own waffle to pop up. He was rewarded with a waffle being shot directly between his eyes a few seconds later. He then punched the toaster on instinct, exploding it, and screamed fuck before falling over.

J was. So very tired.

At least Grey was probably- nope he was stacking waffles on top of Blue’s head while Green cheered him on. J dragged a hand down the side of his head like an exaggerated facepalm.

“Troops!” He snapped after another few moments of watching in silence. Immediately all of them scrambled to hide their waffle crimes. And all of them failed. J huffed once as they came to attention, standing in a line. Blue still had a waffle on his head.

“Status report. What did I miss yesterday.”  
Grey sagged in relief, happy that they weren’t going to be scolded, “The interview went well, Captain. Your absence was marked off by Blue as you being struck with inspiration. The public is now excited for whatever we have planned next. Approval ratings up by 0.18%.”  
A hum, and then J waved them at ease with a hand. “Very well. I’m glad you all did well in my absence.” A pause, “But clean up this mess! We have a guest over and I will not stand for this behavior!”

1010 let out a collective grumble as they all set to work cleaning the kitchen. Red’s solution to the broken toaster was to just pick it up and carry it out. J gave him a look that told him that he’d better not find that toaster under the couch later, and Red huffed. But eventually the kitchen was back to it’s former glory. And now had far less waffles littering the floor.

J huffed, and pointed at a chair, wordlessly telling Supernova to take a seat. And he did. Even if he only barely fit in the chair.

“I apologize for their behavior.” J said, turning and starting to make something, “I programmed them to be in their mid-twenties, but it seems like that hasn’t stopped them from acting like children.”

Nova let out a small laugh, “I really don’t mind. Though it’s strange to see them outside concerts and the like.”

J just grunted in a sort of agreement, focusing on his task. Making pancakes. And he did so in relative silence, only speaking to respond to idle questions the DJ had. All in all it was sickeningly domestic. And soft. J wasn’t entirely sure what to think about it, but it certainly wasn’t making the pit of romantic affection in his stomach go away. Eventually he turned and set a plate of pancakes in front of his guest, and took a seat next to him. There was a brief moment of silence, and then Supernova gave a pleased hum.

“These are… really good!” He said, turning to J and gently nudging him with a hand, “I wouldn’t expect you to be the type to cook.”

J made a small noise of thanks, and clasped his hands in front of him. And then, “Can I ask you something again, soldier? I asked you earlier but...”

He fell quiet. Truth was, he still didn’t really understand why Supernova had bothered to stay. There had always been the chance that he wouldn’t make breakfast, or would have kicked him out come morning. It didn’t really… Well. It made sense to a degree, sure. But he still wasn’t satisfied. Maybe never would be, if the DJ was insistent on being vague.

“Go ahead. I’m all ears.”

“Why… Why did you stay?” He shifted in his seat, “I said I was surprised you stayed and- and well. I still am.”  
DJ Subatomic Supernova let out a short laugh, and glanced down at his pancakes. “Are you always this stubborn about your partners taking care of you?”  
What.

“What?”  
“I said-”  
J stood up, laughing incredulously, “Partners? Like, romantically or-?”

There was a pause. When the DJ answered, it was drawn out and questioning. “Yyyyes..? We’ve been dating for a month, Neon. I would hope it’s romantic-”

Neon J started laughing. The loud sort of laugh that filled the entire space. He slapped the counter twice in his fit, the metal of his hand making a loud thunk against the marble. And when he was done, he flopped over, back into his seat. All the while DJ Subatomic Supernova just stared.

“Good god, I am an absolute fool.” J said around lingering snickers here and there, “Here I was, worried about how my own feelings would be perceived, when you had had romantic intent the entire time.”

“Wait- you didn’t- you didn’t know??” Supernova dropped his fork, leaning forward to stare at Neon J. And J just let out another small laugh.

“No.”

“I- I had assumed-”

J put a hand on Supernova’s, silencing him. He gave another soft chuckle, before looking up at his companion.

“Don’t worry. I came to realize my own affections last night. I apologize for not picking up on yours.” He tapped the DJ’s hand affectionately, “I suppose being around troops built to speak like that all the time desensitized me to it.”

There was silence for a good while after that. And DJ Subatomic ignored his pancakes in favor of resting his other hand on top of J’s. It was a comfortable silence. The same sort that had fallen over them that first night they spent together.

“So. Now that we’ve both got it out in the open.” The DJ patted J’s hand, “Are we both willing to give this whole relationship thing a try?”

J hummed, leaning into Supernova in a relieved fashion. “We can try.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A relationship meant nothing. There was going to be absolutely no domestic happenings in Barraca Mansion.
> 
> ... Well. Maybe some domestic happenings. Just a few.

Neon J was sitting in his office, tapping his foot on the ground and checking the power outputs for his district over time. Things had been good for him, these past few weeks. Nova and him had started dating properly, holding hands and leaning into each other at any chance they could. And J adored it. The soft sort of familiarity in being with another person, spending time with them and sharing interests and hobbies. J had shown Nova his figurine collection, and Nova had been absolutely ecstatic to take part in something J genuinely loved to do.

He smiled to himself as he adjusted the spreadsheet he was working on. It also helped that the media hadn’t picked up on any of their dates yet. They’d gotten close, sure. Though J liked to blame Nova for choosing to go out in the middle of the Cast Tech District. He laughed softly to himself as he thought about it. The curious looks from people, though all assumed it was a business endeavor. No big word from reporters on their outing was a good thing. J paused as a knock sounded from the door. He let his radar ping once and- hm. Grey. What did he need at this time of day?

“Come on in, soldier.” He called, setting his laptop aside, “I’m not busy.”  
The door opened slowly, and Grey poked his head in. His eyes were wide and nervous, and he made sure to shut the door quietly behind himself. It wasn’t like him to be so quiet and reserved. If anything, Grey was always as loud and sure of himself as possible. J’s radar pinged once in worry.

“What’s wrong.”

Grey lifted his hands up, “Nothing Captain, don’t worry. I uh...” He rubbed the back of his neck with a hand, “I just have a question.”

J’s radar pinged again, and he gestured Grey to come closer. The room was big, and with each step it somehow looked like Grey was getting more and more nervous. But eventually he came to stop in front of J’s desk.

“How did you...” Grey started, then paused, “How did you come up with your name? Uh- with Neon J I mean. Or like- like how did you know that that was right for you. In the name department.”

And that was the one question J didn’t expect to hear. He had been thinking that Grey had broken a piece of furniture that J liked, or that Grey accidentally got Yellow stuck in the ground headfirst again. Not a question about his name. J thought for a moment, staring into empty space to try and sort his thoughts out.

Because quite honestly. He was a little embarrassed.

“It’s… a pun.”

Grey blinked, then snorted, “You’re joking.”  
“No, I’m not.” J huffed, and rested the edge of his head in his palm. “I had my previous chosen name erased from my memory when I got transferred over. Which I didn’t really mind since it turns out I had chosen Benjamin of all things. Honestly soldier, I’m not sure what I was thinking.”

He laughed a little, and continued. “But after my surgery, from that point on, I was J-1. A testing number, I think. I didn’t settle on Neon J until… until I stared thinking about making you boys.”

Grey took that as a signal to sit down. He took a seat on the floor, but thanks to his ridiculous height he was still able to look J in the eye. All his nervousneess from before was gone as he listened, but kept glancing down. J assumed he was doing some thinking of his own.

“I had settled on 1010. Sounds nice, you know. And realized J is the 10th letter of the alphabet. And… and then I figured I should keep the 10 train rolling and...” He leaned back in his chair, trying to hide his face in embarrassment, “Neon is the 10th element on the table. And I thought it was stupid but it just felt right, soldier. So it stuck. And here we are.”

Grey smiled at that, and looked like he was debating on making a snarky response. But he ultimately decided not to, which J could appreciate, at least a little bit. Before J had a chance to comment on it, however, Grey was asking another question.

“What do I do if my name doesn’t really feel like me anymore?”

Another few pings came from J in quiet surprise. But he stamped down the feeling with a shake of his head. He really should’ve seen this coming, honestly. He waved a hand absently.

“Then see what you can find and try a new one. It isn’t all that complicated, soldier.” A slight pause, “And I won’t mind. So long as you tell me what it is when you decide on it.”

Grey’s smile returned tenfold, and he stood so suddenly that he nearly fell over. J was actually genuinely worried for the droid for a second, only to watch him straighten up and salute him with a sparkle in his eyes.

“Thanks a ton Captain Dad!” Grey said, saluting, “I’ll keep you updated.”

J nodded, and waved him off. And in the next few moments Grey was jogging out the door with a spring in his step. J turned back to his work and quietly wondered how long it’d take for the other boys to make their choices, if they wanted to make them, that is.

* * *

It was a couple days later, and in quick succession, three of the boys had approached J on their own to tell him about the names they’d chose for themselves. Turned out they had been thinking about this for a while, and all it took was for Rin to get J’s approval for them to move in with finality on it all.

Reworking their image was proving a bit difficult, but it wasn’t a big deal. In general, the fanclubs seemed to find their new names something new to gush over. And while J was a little… weirded out. The boys themselves adored the attention. Him and Nova had spent an entire evening together wondering what went on in the minds of teenage girls and boys… They’d both decided that it was an unimaginable nightmare at all times.

And now? Now J was walking through the mansion to burn off some excess energy. He walked into the boys’ gaming room, arms tucked behind his back, and nodded his head in greeting at Blue. Blue, who was sitting and staring at nothing while laying on the oversized couch that filled a majority of the room. J wasn’t sure if he was sleeping or not until Blue sat up.

“Neon J.” He said, “Do you have a moment?”

J stopped his pacing, and tilted his head.

“I am free currently, yes. What do you need, soldier?”

Blue was quiet for a good while, opening and closing his mouth as he contemplated how to phrase whatever he was thinking. J was absolutely silent, letting Blue think. A couple minutes later, Blue finally settled on what he wanted to say.

“You programmed us with masculine inclinations and tendencies.” He started, “So realistically we shouldn’t be able to have emotions in regard to our gender. But I… have been. As has Red, though I doubt he’d approach you about it.”

Blue paused, and adjusted his glasses, “Though all that said, considering your own circumstances I doubted you’d argue against my gender struggles.”

J was taken aback for a moment, before laughing softly to himself. If he had known they’d worry about their “assigned” genders this much, he would have gone out of his way to address it earlier. He adjusted the tassels on his coat before walking over to Blue to talk to him properly.

“You’d be right about that, soldier.” He said, “I didn’t figure out I was a man overnight. What were you thinking? You’ve clearly settled on something, else I doubt you’d be talking to me about it in the first place.”

Blue smiled, and pushed his glasses onto his head. He was glancing at the ground, almost nervous. But mostly self satisfied with acceptance.

“I believe the term is Non-Binary. Though I still like my pronouns, ah. A he/him lesbian, I think, technically.” A slight beat of a pause, “And my name. Purl-Hew from now on, Captain.”

J patted him on the shoulder a couple of times, accidentally knocking his glasses back down onto his face. They both share a brief laugh, and J patted him again, this time on the head.

“I’ll remember it,” J reassured him, “No worries, Purl-Hew.”

* * *

A week later, J had invited Supernova over for a sort of mock-family dinner. And reintroduced his boyfriend to his 5 wonderful children.

Rin had settled on his named first, added they/them to his pronoun “collection” as they all liked to call it, and grinned like a madman when he was introduced. Though he assured Nova that a new name didn’t spare his dad’s boyfriend from endless pranks. Nova had only chuckled in awkward terror. He was no stranger to 1010’s pranks.

Next was Zimelu, who despite their seemingly stoic and prickly demeanor, happily dumped about their choices. They actually preferred they/them and she/her to he/him, though not to say that they didn’t want to ever use he/him. It just depended on the day, really. They then proceeded to tell Nova that they’d “Attack him like a wild animal” if he forgot their new preferences. Which Nova assured wouldn’t happen.

Eloni and Haym had picked each other’s names in a bought of half asleep joking. Apparently Eloni had said ham the food as a joke, and Haym just ran with it. Maybe out of spite? He wouldn’t answer past a giggle and a vague promise to haunt Eloni with roast hams for the rest of his life. It was scary, though J knew it was a joke.

And last was Purl-Hew, who mentioned his name casually and cooly like he was being interviewed. And then immediately broke into yelling as Rin slapped the back of his head with a hand full of whipped cream.

J shook his head in defeat as the table turned into a food fight, but didn’t make a move to stop them. Instead, he just gave Nova a tired look, and laughed. He was glad his children had figured themselves out, but it looked like no amount of changes would keep them from acting like, well, siblings.

J just hoped they’d clean up the mess when all was said and done.


End file.
